Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
