The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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