Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I fill condoms, not promises.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
True college students do jello shots in the library
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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