good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
