he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
