i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
