Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
