She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
