I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
