my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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