I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
