So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
