She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
