Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
