this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
