Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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