My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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