i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
