True but thats because hes a fetus.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
