i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
