Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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