Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
