AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
