I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
