I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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