Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
