Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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