he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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