worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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