i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
