I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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