You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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