I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
