Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
