I've blown a few things in my day
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
