I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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