You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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