Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize