I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
