i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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