Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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