i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
