so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She bit a glass in half.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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