Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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