We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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