which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
