Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
