What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
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