I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
