OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
