i just wanna soil my oats bro
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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