I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
